Results tagged ‘ Merkin Valdez ’

2009 Season In Review

I really don’t know where to begin, except to say what I end up saying at the end of every baseball season:

“When does spring training start?”

I think many Giants fans feel the same way, especially with how they capped off a surprisingly good season this year with a win on Sunday thanks to Pablo Sandoval’s tenth-inning blast at Petco Park.

While I definitely got frustrated with the Giants several times during the season (mainly for their lack of an established hitting lineup), in the end I am still pretty content with how the year went. No one (myself included) expected them to finish the year 88-74, fourteen games above .500 and third in the National League West with a chance for the Wild Card up until the last week of September. Could management have done things differently last offseason in terms of getting us a bat so maybe we could’ve made the playoffs this year? Sure. But I don’t think they anticipated how successful the Giants would be this year, either. Brian Sabean realized around June and July that this team could be going places now, and I have to give him credit for finally doing something at the trade deadline, even though our acquisitions of Ryan Garko and Freddy Sanchez aren’t looking too good at this point in time.

The bottom line I’m trying to express is this: Before the season even started it seemed like everyone was already scratching this year out and saying, “Wait til 2010 when Buster Posey and Madison Bumgarner come up to the Majors,” and while people had good reason to say that, the Giants ended up proving all of us pessemists wrong. So while I may be disappointed about them not making the playoffs, it’s great that we could even talk about that as a legitimate possibility this year.

That being said, this offseason is absolutely critical for the Giants. GM Brian Sabean will still be working the phones for at least another year, and it’s essentially ‘put up or shut up’ time for him, to put it bluntly. The Giants’ weaknesses around their lineup are glaring, and they can’t just sit by idly about it again this offseason and put all the pressure on the pitching staff once again in 2010. After the team’s unexpected success this year, fans won’t accept anything less than a 90+ win season and a postseason appearance, and to have that we need to pick up a couple pieces (specifically an outfielder and a first baseman who can hit, the latter if Pablo will be moved back to third). For the first time in five years we tasted success, and now we’re all hungry for more. If Sabean wants to keep his job beyond 2010, he’ll have to prove that this team is serious about making the postseason with the moves he makes in the offseason.

So some possibilities for a bat…how about Nick Johnson or Adam Dunn for a first baseman? Dunn is definitely a power hitter, although I think he once said he hated hitting in AT&T Park (or did he rescind that statement?). Johnson definitely isn’t a home run guy; he had eight all year but did hit .291 with 62 RBI’s, which would be an improvement over Travis Ishikawa (although no offense to him, but what wouldn’t be an offensive upgrade with him at first?). In regards to left fielders, a lot of people are throwing around Jason Bay and Matt Holliday, but I don’t think those are realistic possibilities; Holliday won’t want to leave St. Louis and same goes for Bay in Boston. They’ll try to renegotiate with those teams first and foremost, I would think. Besides them it doesn’t look like there are a whole lot of sexy names who are free agent left fielders…there’s Carl Crawford, but he has a ten million dollar club option. But maybe the Giants will decide to plug Pablo in at first and look for a third baseman. If they do that, Adrian Beltre is available, but he didn’t have a good year (and he was injured, if I’m not mistaken). Or you can always bring back Pedro Feliz (kidding, but he is a free agent; has a club option with the Phillies, though).

Besides the quest for a bat I would say the other big question going into the offseason is whether or not Bengie Molina will be back next year. To me it’s a tough call and one can make a legitimate argument either way, but in the end I think the Giants should bring him back for one more year if they can work out a reasonably-priced deal. I know people didn’t like his attitude towards Buster Posey being brought up and how he recently took somewhat of a swipe at fans for not giving him a very warm reception during the last home games of the year, but putting all that aside I still think we need him back in 2010. For the past few years Molina has been the Giants’ rock, the MVP of the team for being our most dependable hitter and for the way he works with the pitching staff. Although Pablo Sandoval stepped up this year and became the team’s best hitter, Bengie was still one our best offensive players and hit 20 home runs for the first time in his career. The most significant factor to me in why Bengie should be resigned, however is that Buster Posey doesn’t look ready to be the 2010 starting catcher. I know that Posey wasn’t given a ton of opportunities to play this year, but when he did get a chance he didn’t prove himself offensively or defensively. I’m not ripping on Posey for that because he is still young and he didn’t get a significant amount of playing time, but I’m just not comfortable with plugging Posey into the starting catcher position off the bat. I think it would be logical to bring Bengie back on a one-year deal (with possibly a club option for a second) and have him around to be the primary catcher and mentor Posey until he’s ready to take Molina’s place.

On a side note, there’s another question that baseball fans in general have, and that is whether or not Tim Lincecum will repeat as the National League Cy Young. Unfortunately, I think the answer is no. I think voters will be enticed by Chris Carpenter’s win total (17), especially considering he missed the first month of the season. He also has a better ERA (2.24 versus Lincecum’s 2.48). I thought one of the biggest arguments you could make in support of Lincecum is that he had a lot less run support than Carpenter did, but in reality that’s not true. According to Jayson Stark’s year-end review for ESPN.com here’s a link, Lincecum and Carpenter had nearly identical run support at around 5.80. And hey, I could be wrong about this; Brandon Webb had 22 wins to Lincecum’s 18 last year and didn’t come close to winning the Cy Young Award. But unfortunately I think the only hope for Lincecum to repeat will be if the voters split between Carpenter and Adam Wainwright, which would take away from their first place votes and give Tim a better shot. As a Giants fan, I hope I’m wrong. But after comparing their stats, I wouldn’t blame the baseball writers for giving the award to Carpenter.

Speaking of Jayson Stark, his MLB year-end column inspired me to do something similar with the Giants. So here are some of my thoughts about my favorite team’s 2009 season, broken down into a list:

Most Valuable Pitcher: Jeremy Affeldt. As one of the best acquisitions of the 2008-09 offseason, Affeldt helped to shore up our bullpen and turn it into one of the best in all of Major League Baseball after being so poor the previous year. He quickly became the most dependable pitcher out of the bullpen and at one point had a scoreless inning streak that lasted 28 innings. For the year Affeldt’s ERA was 1.73 with 55 strikeouts and a WHIP of 1.17. 

Honorable Mentions: Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Brian Wilson 

Most Valuable Player (Non-Pitcher): Juan Uribe. I know it’s hard to argue against Pablo Sandoval as the team MVP, but at the same time you certainly can’t argue against Uribe. He made the team on a one million dollar minor-league contract after spring training and became an essential player for the Giants with his ability to play several infield positions and be a timely hitter. He went from a .247 average with the Chicago White Sox last year to hitting .289 with 16 home runs and 55 RBI’s (not anything too eye-popping, but for a 30-year-old who barely made the team it was pretty good). Uribe became a favorite of fans and teammates with his infectious, humorous personality and reignited the “Uuuuu-ribe!” chant from when his cousin Jose was a Giant in the eighties, and on a personal level he capped off one of the best Giants games I’ve ever been to when he hit a walk-off home run against the Dodgers on August 12.

Honorable Mentions: Pablo Sandoval, Bengie Molina 

Least Valuable Pitcher: Bob Howry. Thank God Sabean only signed him to a one-year contract. Howry gave me flashbacks to Tyler Walker this year by giving up crucial hits, often game-winning home runs for the opposition. I don’t think I need to provide statistical evidence here.

Dishonorable Mentions: Can’t think of too many for a pitcher…Merkin Valdez, maybe?

Least Valuable Player (Non-Pitcher): Aaron Rowand. He definitely didn’t live up to Giants fans’ expectations of him, with or without his contract factored in (but especially when you bring in the $12 million). He seemed to strike out as often as Fred Lewis in key situations (actually for the year he struck out a lot more than Fred: 125 vs. Lewis’ 84) and hit only .261 in 144 games.

Dishonorable Mentions: Edgar Renteria, Freddy Sanchez, Fred Lewis, Randy Winn

Best Game of the Year (That I Attended): Two words: Uuuuu-ribe! This Giants-Dodgers game on a warm weekday afternoon was the game that had it all–a great pitching performance (Tim Lincecum was one out away from a complete game shutout when Andre Eithier hit a game-tying RBI single), two managerial ejections after two botched calls by the first-base umpire (Giants third base coach Tim Flannery had to step in as manager from the ninth inning on), a bench-clearing semi-brawl after Pablo Sandoval threatened to charge a Dodgers reliever in the fifth after he came close to hitting him, and a walk-off home run by Juan Uribe in the tenth after he missed a pop-up in the same inning to cap it all off. It instantly vaulted up my list as one of the best games I’ve ever attended and left me with memories that will stay with me for a long time, like that of jumping up and down on the bleachers with my brother after Uribe’s walk-off and chanting “Beat LA!” out the Marina Gate.

 

045.JPGBest Game of the Year (In General): August 30, 2009, less than a week after the Giants lost the most heartbreaking game since Steve Finley’s grand slam to end the 2004 season, Edgar Renteria comes up and hits a grand slam of his own, propelling the Giants to an unlikely come-from-behind victory and a series sweep of the Colorado Rockies that got us back in a tie for the Wild Card. This moment also produced one of the best calls I’ve ever heard when Duane Kuiper said, “Folks, do you believe?” It literally sent chills down my spine and convinced me that this team a. had nine lives and b. really could go somewhere this year. Unfortunately I was wrong on both counts, in the end.

Other High Points: Jonathan Sanchez’s unlikely no-hitter on July 10 with his father in the stands; Randy Johnson’s 300th victory in Washington (albeit it would’ve been nice if it had been at home in front of an actual crowd); the home sweep of the Texas Rangers in June; Lincecum’s 15-strikeout game at the end of July; Zito’s curtain call game.

Worst Game of the Year (That I Attended): I took home the Brian Wilson bobblehead as a bittersweet souvenir on July 12 after Zito had his worst game of the year against the San Diego Padres to close out the first half of the season…enough said.

Worst Game of the Year (In General): The Giants had plenty of frustrating, throw-the-remote-at-the-TV losses this season, like their two poor homestands in a row against Cincinnati and Los Angeles in August or their horrible San Diego-Seattle road trip in May. But nothing could compare to the 14-inning loss on a walk-off grand slam in Denver on August 24, a game which became the poster child for a heartbreaker to Giants fans. It left fans of the orange and black stunned and speechless, and all the Wild Cark talk became feeble mumblings that began to turn into, “Well, there’s always next year.” And you couldn’t blame us for saying that, for being hopeless. After the Giants came back and swept the Rockies at the end of that same week, Mike Krukow implicitly said KNBR host Damon Bruce was a “clown” for having said the season was over. Although I usually agree with Krukow’s commentary, I thought that was pretty tactless for him to say since Damon definitely wasn’t the only one saying the Giants’ playoff chances were slim to none now. But anyway, it ended up not being the end of the road for the Giants (although that unfortunately was still to come).

Other Low Points: The first road trip of the year where the Giants went 0-6; the road trip to San Diego and Seattle in May where the Giants did so horribly offensively; losing two out of three two the Padres and Dodgers back to back in September; the Cubs’ home run off Brian Wilson in the ninth on September 24 that essentially sealed the Giants’ fate.

…and finally, my playoff predictions:

NLDS:

Rockies vs. Phillies: Rockies. I know I’m going against the grain with this pick. I’m still not completely secure about it, but I’m going with the Rockies for a few reasons: a. They’re the hottest NL team going into the postseason, whereas the Phillies have been struggling lately. Momentum can play a big part–just ask the Rockies of ’07. b. Both teams have very good lineups, but Colorado has better pitching overall; all of their regular starters had at least ten wins this year. Plus Houston Street verus Brad Lidge this year is no contest. Look for Colorado to stun the defending world champions and ride their hot streak into the NLCS.  

Dodgers vs. Cardinals: Cardinals. To me this is the easiest one to call, all anti-LA bias aside. St. Louis has a great lineup with Matt Holliday protecting Albert Pujols in the three-hole and a one-two punch of Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. What does LA have? Randy Wolf and a slumping Manny Ramirez. I know the Dodgers beat the Cubs in the NLDS last year when no one thought they would, but that was against the cursed Cubbies. The same fate will not await them this year, as they won’t be able to survive against a very good St. Louis team.

ALDS:

Angels vs. Red Sox: Red Sox. Again, no anti-LA bias here. In fact, a small part of me is rooting for the Angels because of Nick Adenhart. But their recent history against Boston in the postseason hasn’t been good; after their 2002 World Series victory, the Angels have been eliminated by Boston three out of three series’ and won only one out of ten games. Between the two teams it seems like, “Anything you can do I can do better.” The Angels have a better offense this year, but the Red Sox have Jason Bay and Victor Martinez. Anaheim has a decent pitching staff, but Boston has Jon Lester, Clay Bucholz and Josh Beckett. I don’t see the Angels having enough to beat the mighty Red Sox, as much as I’d like to not see another Yankees-Red Sox ALCS.  

Twins vs. Yankees: Yankees. On a side note, I feel pretty sorry for the Detroit Tigers and their fans. Tonight they became the first team in MLB history to lose three out of their last four games and lose the division, and it couldn’t have happened to a worse town what with all their economic hardships. But the Twins did deserve it, as they went 17-4 down the stretch to claim the AL Central crown. Unfortunately, it won’t be enough against the Yankees because they’re…well, the Yankees. Yes, the Yankees’ starting pitching isn’t all that strong, but they compensate for that with their offense, bullpen and closer. Plus the Twins haven’t won a game in New York since July 2007. Although I want to see the Yankees go down, it won’t happen, at least not in the NLDS. 

NLCS:

Rockies vs. Cardinals: Cardinals.

ALCS:

Red Sox vs. Yankees: Yankees.

World Series:

Cardinals vs. Yankees: Yankees (as much as I hate to say it, I believe it’ll happen, which means I’ll have to tune out ESPN for about a week).

~

That’s all for now from this Giants fan. I’ll try to continue blogging throughout the postseason even though my team isn’t in it, and I’ll write throughout the offseason from time to time. But I will close out this entry and the 2009 Giants season the same way they do for a home victory: I Left My Heart in San Francisco

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Feeling Black and (Dodger) Blue

It’s 7-1 Dodgers in the 7th inning and Bob Howry has (predictably) given up a couple runs after Merkin Valdez left with the bases loaded and nobody out.

I think it’s safe to tag this one as a loss.

Oh no, wait. 9-1 Dodgers.

Why is Bochy still using Bob Howry??? Get him off the team!!! He doesn’t contribute anything!!! He’s Tyler Walker all over again!!!

Okay, breathe.

It’s just hard to grasp what has happened to the Giants in the past couple weeks. Ever since they came off that amazing homestand where they swept the Rockies, they’ve been slowly spiraling downward, whereas it’s been the opposite with Colorado, who has been 9-1 since then.

Talk about cruel irony for the orange and black.

But while it is ironic, I wouldn’t say it was a horrible twist of fate or anything like that, because that would suggest that the Giants had a lot of bad luck. But if the Giants don’t make the Wild Card (and each day it’s looking more and more unlikely), it will be wholly their own fault. 

Everyone knew going into offseason that our biggest need was hitting, yet the front office did nothing about it until the All Star Break when the Giants were unexpectedly in contention. Yes, Freddy Sanchez was a nice pick up, but what was stopping Sabean from making a move to pick up a solid hitter in the offseason? Why did he have to wait until halfway through the season? Besides not having a lot of power, this team as a whole is often terribly impatient at the plate (hence why Kuroda only had a pitch count of 62 going into the 7th inning tonight against, and it’s been well documented that they can’t play small ball through their lack of bunting skills.

Speaking of which, that reminds me of an interesting quote I heard earlier today. As I think I’ve mentioned before, this summer I’ve been working as an intern at KNBR. Today was my last day since I’ll be going back to college next weekend, and I worked a KNBR sponsored client batting practice at the ballpark. It was a pretty cool event that gave people an opportunity to hit and field at AT&T Park, and along with that they got to meet former Giants Vida Blue and Tito Fuentes. After the batting practice a Q&A session was held in the visitors’ dugout where guests got to ask Vida and Tito questions about their careers, although not many people asked questions; a lot of it was the two of them going off and telling their own stories, which was just as interesting and entertaining. Anyway, at one point Vida Blue brought up the Giants’ inability to do the little things and used Kevin Frandsen’s pop-up bunt in the eighth inning of a game against the Padres a few days ago as an example. He essentially said that you can’t do that because it’s Major League Baseball, and he joked, “Tito could’ve gone up and gotten it done.” While Vida was mixing humor into what he said here, you could tell he was still being serious, and I just found it interesting that he was pretty blunt about it.

 

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On a side note, although I’m only nineteen and therefore wasn’t alive to see Fuentes and Blue when they played, I appreciated being around them today. They were both really friendly and outgoing and interacted with fans the entire time, with Fuentes giving people coming up to bat hitting tips and Blue throwing a short live pitching session to some of the clients. I also thought Vida was especially classy when he called for a moment of silence during the Q&A to honor the victims of 9/11.

I really don’t enjoy complaining about my baseball team; like I’ve said before, in the end no matter how critical I get of the Giants, they will still always be my favorite team. But lately they haven’t been giving us fans much to be happy about, and tonight was no exception. They got shut down by another not-so-great pitcher in Hiroki Kuroda, who at one point retired nineteen batters in a row. It seems like ever since the final game against the Rockies during the homestand, the momentum they kept rebuilding has finally run out. Tonight they had an opportunity to start building it back up again after a poor series against a poor team, but instead they got blown out by their archrival with one of their aces on the mound. Needless to say, this was the worst case scenario in terms of how to start the biggest six-game stretch of the year.

I really want to believe in this team. I’ll fully admit I was one of the people who had very, very little hope left after the 14-inning game in Colorado. Well, they proved me wrong and stormed back to tie the Rockies in the Wild Card the same week I thought they were done. But based on how the past few series’ have gone for the Giants, my hope is starting to fade.

I was going to end this entry with, “Oh well, at least the Rockies lost”, but no. They came back against the Padres and won 4-1.

A Frustrating .500 Road Trip

I know the title of this entry might sound oxymoronic since generally a 3-3 road trip is lauded as decent, especially for a Giants team that has been anything but road warriors this year.

But when your pitching staff gives up only nine runs in six games to two teams that can definitely hit for power and the offense can barely do anything to support them, it’s frustrating as hell.

The series in Philadelphia was an especially bitter pill to swallow. We lost the first game 1-0 as our offense was unable to get anything done against Cole Hamels, who has been shaky this year for Philly but looked like the World Series MVP that he was in ’08 against the soft-hitting Gigantes. The Giants’ pitching staff (well, Brad Penny and Jeremy Affeldt) then combined to shut out the powerful Phillies offense the next night in a 4-0 victory.

So then came the rubber match of the series, which was wholly set up in the Giants’ favor with Lincecum on the mound against three-time Cy Young winner Pedro Martinez.

But oh man. Talk about ‘Party Like It’s 1999′ for Martinez.

He made the Giants look ridiculous and gave baseball fans flashbacks to a much younger, more dominant Pedro…so of course the Giants got Lincecum zilch run support. Well okay, one run often can be enough for Timmy, but unfortunately it wasn’t that night. He only gave up two runs and had 11 strikeouts but still got tagged with the loss because–say it with me–the offense failed again.

Oh, and a side note on that game before I move on to Milwaukee–Bochy, stop using Fred Lewis as a pinch-hitter!!! Why do you continue looking to him as a reliable guy to come up in an important situation??? The only unpredictable thing he did in that at-bat with two on and two out in Philly was that he grounded out instead of striking out. I don’t care what the situation is; throw the traditional righty-lefty match-up stuff out the window when it comes to Lewis. Unless he’s the last guy left on the bench or he’s got (in the words of Mike Krukow) serious, serious ownage on the opposing pitcher, I don’t want to see him.

The bottom line with the Philly series: I give the Giants pitching staff a lot of credit for holding the best lineup in the National League to only three runs in two games. But when you do that and still manage to lose the series, it pretty much erases that accomplishment.

Moving on from cheesesteaks to cheeseheads, where it was unfortunately more of the same. Yes, the Giants took the series from the Brew-crew, but that was to be expected for a team trying to make the playoffs. They still barely eeked out the first two wins by 3-2 finals, and today they had a chance at a sweep with a recently much better Jonathan Sanchez on the mound. Sanchez pitched well again today but ended up with a no-decision since the Giants couldn’t do much against Braden Looper. Their best opportunity came in the sixth inning with two on, nobody out and Aaron Rowand at the plate, but then came the triple play that pretty much summed up the Giants’ offense this road trip and the year overall. But hey, I’ll give them credit for finding a new, more dramatic way of not getting the job done with runners in scoring position.

So the game inched on into extra innings and I just had that sinking feeling in my stomach that it wasn’t going to end well. It started when Bochy brought out Bob Howry, which signaled ‘walk-off home run’ alarm bells in my head, especially when Prince Fielder came up. Turns out I was right, but a bit premature as Howry struck out Fielder and barely managed to get out of the inning without giving up the game-winning hit. But then when Juan Uribe popped up a bunt which Brewers catcher Jason Kendall caught, the bad feeling intensified. Granted, Kendall made a great catch…but still, a pop-up bunt for an out? Bad, bad bad. I won’t get too annoyed with Uribe about it, though since he’s been one of the best, most surprising guys in our lineup this year…but still, the entire team needs a huge workshop on bunting.

So then came the 12th inning with Merkin Valdez pitching for the G-Men, the guy who gave up the infamous walk-off grand slam to the Rockies in what has been informally dubbed The Game Which Cannot Be Spoken Of. And here comes Prince Fielder. Sure enough…

sp-giants07_ph3_0500563916.jpg…the Giants got bowled over by the Prince, thus sending them back to the city by the Bay with a not-so-great .500 road trip and a loss that sends them two games back of the Colorado Rockies.

Speaking of the Rockies…can they just lose already?! The New York Mets and Arizona Diamondbacks did us no favors this past week except when the Mets beat’em on the night where Lincecum took the hard-luck loss in Philly. Colorado’s schedule continues to look pretty soft for the remainder of the year; tomorrow they open a four-game series at home against the Cincinnati Reds before going on the road to play the Padres, us and the Diamondbacks. Besides the series against us, the only other time they’ll play a team above .500 the rest of the month is when they play the Cardinals at home; then in October they close out the regular season by going to LA. Meanwhile, the Giants have to face the Dodgers and Rockies back-to-back thiscoming homestand, then go on the road to Los Angeles and Arizona. They close out September at home against the Cubs and Diamondbacks (man, lots of Arizona in the span of a week), then end the regular season in San Diego.

So overall I think the Rockies have the softer schedule; however, San Francisco has a couple advantages in that a. they play three more games at home over the remainder of the season than the Rockies do and b. they have an easier last week on paper in that they play the Cubs, D-Backs and Padres while the Rockies play the Cardinals, Brewers and Dodgers. But I guess the question is whether or not the latter point will matter once we hit the end of the month. The Giants’ offense seriously needs to step up in order to stay in contention, and whether or not that happens will determine if they make the playoffs. It’s not about the starting pitching; they’ve shown time and time again that they can be relied upon. Does the realization that the Giants’ Wild Card hopes rest on this lineup make me queasy? Definitely. I think the keys to this offense stepping up rely on three components: veterans like Aaron Rowand and Bengie Molina, Pablo Sandoval getting hot again, and the return of Freddy Sanchez off his DL stint. If all these ingredients come together for the Giants in a positive way and the pitching staff does what they’ve done all year, then we’ve definitely got a shot.

On a side note, as I’ve been writing this entry and others I realize I may come off as really cynical, harsh and pessimistic about the Giants…and I guess the truth is I am. But it’s kind of like if you have a friend who you know is smart but constantly slacks off in school by cutting class often and not doing his homework: you get really angry with them and may come off as mean by doing so, but in the end it’s because you care about them and know they have a lot of potential. That’s how I am with this baseball team; I can love them one day and hate them the next, can praise a player one day and scream profanities at the TV when they strike out again the next day, but it’s not fickleness–it’s because I have my heart 100% invested in this team and want them to succeed. This is the team I started watching in the 2002 World Series and didn’t turn away from even after Game 6, that I’ve stuck by ever since the good times and the many bad ones from recent woeful years. I’m not one of the bandwagon fans who left with Barry Bonds and his home run chase after the 2007 season, and I’m not one of the bandwagon fans that will start showing up if (big if) the Giants make the playoffs. Even after the horrible loss in Colorado a couple weeks ago I didn’t start tuning out their games, even though I did feel like our playoff hopes had been dashed. So no matter how this season ends, I’ll still find myself quickly counting down the days til they return.  

I’ll be out at the ballpark tomorrow and am looking forward to seeing Brad Penny’s AT&T Park debut as a Giant. No better way to spend a holiday afternoon than out at the yard, in my opinion.  

Gut-Punched

Wow.

There are no words that can fully encapsulate what it felt like as a Giants fan to see the Colorado Rockies win that game against us in the 14th inning on a walk-off grand slam after we’d just gotten three runs. Seeing the first pitch hit that hard, hearing Duane Kuiper say, “This isn’t good, folks”, watching as the Rockies celebrated…I don’t know.

I felt numb and weak. It’s like at that moment you could feel all other Giants fans around the Bay Area react by collapsing on the couch, gaping at the TV, covering their eyes or shouting profanities at Merkin Valdez in disgust (or all of the above).

I don’t know…maybe I sound really dramatic. One of my friends who isn’t a sports fan thought I sounded like someone had died when I answered the phone. But I can’t really help it; that kind of reaction to a loss like this is the pure definition of a ‘diehard fan’. I do live and die with this team. I am really emotionally invested in them (maybe too much). But what can I say? I can’t turn off my passion and just be one of those casual fans who jumps on the bandwagon and comes to the park when the team is doing well or their slugger is about to reach a home run milestone. And even after this loss, I still can’t throw down the remote control and just say, “Forget this team, I’m done.” I may be upset now, but I’ll still probably be back tomorrow watching them again because I can’t help it. I stuck around through all these crappy years, and I can’t turn my back on them now.

But this loss…man. I just can’t explain eloquently how much it hurt. It was nothing like any of their other losses this year. It wasn’t like the three times Bob Howry has choked and given up a walk-off home run to the opposition, which had me irked and frustrated with a sense of unshakeable deja vu. It wasn’t like the bad series they’ve had against bad teams, like at PNC Park or at home against Cincinnati. It wasn’t even as bad as Saturday when the Giants were leading 6-1 and coughed up the lead, big-time. This one topped them all by far. I mean, they were ahead three runs almost five hours into a game, and that should have meant it was over; that’s what I expected, anyway, and I think it was safe to do so. But to have it end in such a dramatic way, with the walk-off grand slam after pretty much writing this in pen as a win and a 6-5 road trip…God. It just gave me flashbacks to how the 2004 season ended for us when Steve Finley hit that grand slam for the Dodgers to beat us and propel them into the postseason. Even though this one doesn’t clinch a playoff birth for the Rockies since there’s a month left of the season, it sure as hell feels like it. The Giants as they’re currently constructed just don’t seem like they’re good enough to get hot down the stretch and gain all this momentum and overtake the Rockies in the Wild Card. I mean, no one even thought they’d be contenders this year (and rightfully so). I know in some ways that should mean I should be grateful for the surprisingly good season they’ve had overall, but I’m not, really; it just makes me more bitter about tonight’s loss. With this pitching staff, I feel like we would’ve had a shot in a short series in the postseason, but now it looks like we’ll never know, at least not in 2009.  

I know there’s another month left of the season, so statistically all is not lost. And of course I’d like to be proven wrong; I would love for the Giants to get on a hot streak and sweep the Diamondbacks and Rockies coming up. But it just doesn’t seem realistic. Regardless of what happens though, I’ll still stick around til the end because I can’t just ignore my team, even after all this.

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